Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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