There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
