barbara walters just said penis...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
