i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
