But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Randomize
