It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
