See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
