i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Drake has all the answers
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
