yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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