it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
