Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
