I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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