I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
