i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
