Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
