Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
