No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
