Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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