some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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