Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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