Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
