I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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