Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
