People in love make me want to vomit
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
