i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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