how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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