so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
