He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
