i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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