Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
