I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
