Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
