addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
