Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just found puke in my bra..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Boobs speak an international language.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
