Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
