Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
