If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
