I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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