My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
