can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We had sex on a dog bed..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
