I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
