Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
