He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
