you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
