I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
