I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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