She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
