And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
