there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
