She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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