last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
