addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
