I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
