If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
