Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
