kristin has been a bad kristin
im six kinds of drunk right now
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
