I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
